Reflections (On a Year of Blogging)

I seem to be suffering from blogger's block lately. 

It's not that nothing is (or has been) happening in my life; my apartment renovations are still ongoing, and I've been baking and cooking like a madwoman, mostly pumpkin-flavored food items (see my "Hints of Fall" post for more on that subject). And I've continued my daily journal writing/morning page a la Julia Cameron, building up writing discipline and allowing myself a creative outlet, so I am writing...something.

But on social media sites, as well as in life, I staunchly believe that not everything that happens needs to be posted. (And, truthfully, I wish some of my fellow social-media users held that same standard!) In other words, I don't need to speak unless I have something to say, that I want to share. (Although, unfortunately, polite society often requires me to make meaningless (to me) small talk far more often than my introverted self wishes to do so.) 

It's okay to take a break from blogging, the same way I take a break from Facebook. I think it's safe to presume that no one is waiting in agonized suspense for my latest ramblings. (That said, I do believe in writing online with the assumption that someone will read what you write, while bearing in mind that anyone could read what you write.)

Anyway, like swimming, I'd say that getting this far - nearly a year - with my blog has been a monumental personal accomplishment. I can't possibly forget how terrified I was a year ago when I first began considering a blog, followed by my subsequent panic when I went live shortly after the first of the year. 

As I've learned throughout this year, sometimes just taking that first step, confronting crippling fear head on, is the true victory. Anything beyond that is a bonus, like scoring 120% on an exam or finding glittery star stickers next to the 'A' on a homework assignment (remember those from elementary school?)

2013 has been filled with glittery-star-sticker moments for me, and I'm thankful for this blog, which has served its purpose several times over by yearbooking all of those weird and wonderful moments.

Hints of Fall

Fall 2013 at my local park

  This is how I know it's fall...

1. It's getting cold! 
I've added layers of clothing and blankets, and I'm fighting the urge (daily) to crank up my thermostat and pull out my winter coat (two unmistakable signs of winter in Western New York). I know that once those two things happen, they'll continue to happen for the next six (if not seven) months, so I'm holding off for now. I guess my space heater would be the appropriate compromise.

2. It's getting dark!
Evenings are getting darker earlier, which makes me want to hibernate in my pajamas after work as long and early as possible. (See #1 for an additional reason to hibernate.)

3. I'm craving pumpkin-flavored items.
I've never liked pumpkin-flavored anything (not even pie), yet I find myself searching online for pumpkin recipes and baking pumpkin bread, pumpkin-chocolate brownies, and pumpkin-chocolate pie (the chocolate nicely disguises the pumpkin flavor, but still...) If this behavior continues unchecked, I fear I'll be driving through Tim Horton's for the pumpkin-flavored treats I hear advertised on Pandora radio at least once every morning...(Come to think of it, I suspect these Tim Horton's ads may be responsible for my pumpkin cravings.)

4. I got my flu shot yesterday.
I was quite pleased with myself for crossing this essential item off my list until just a few hours afterward when my arm started aching like it had been walloped by a Louisville slugger. Then I just had to laugh at my wimpiness and utter lack of pain tolerance while attempting to wash dishes and wash, dry, and fold a heavy load of laundry with one arm.

5. Figure skating!
My beloved figure skating is back on television, and it's an Olympic season, so there will be more of it. And not only is it on my TV, it's in my proverbial backyard as well. 

I was feeling adventurous this past Columbus Day, so I decided to risk limb (did I mention I'm a neurotic wimp?) by checking out a public skating session at my local ice rink. To my delight, I stayed upright and enjoyed every second, despite massive skate-induced blisters on my right ankle. (I also stayed by the boards in an effort to prevent the inevitable fall(s), but I'm getting a feel for the ice and slowly picking up speed in basic forward gliding.) 

As a result of my bravery, I think I may have found a new, much-needed reason to look forward to fall and winter!

Home Improvement

At long last (or, more aptly, never thought this would ever happen), my home-improvement project has begun, and I couldn't be happier or more relieved. 

If a few coats of paint and half a can of spray paint (really!) make me this happy, just imagine how I'll feel after my new flooring is installed. And, for goodness' sake, why did I wait so long to start? (It might have something to do with anxiety related to having strange people in my apartment, but I won't delve into that tangent-waiting-to-happen.)

Backing up slightly, I should explain that when I moved in to my cute, cozy apartment over four years ago, the kitchen and bathroom floors were far from cute (and much closer to stained and disgusting). But, for one thing, I was a meek little mouse who patiently, trustingly waited for my intrepid landlord to take care of the aforementioned hideous floors, among other issues. And, for another thing, I was so happy to have my own apartment, after far-too-many years of living with my parents, that I accepted its flaws without complaint. Four years later, any patience I once had is long gone and I'm full of complaints (about my apartment, mostly).

So this fall I made it my mission to tackle my long-overdue home renovations with a vengeance, starting with locating a handyman on Facebook (no, really), exchanging a series of emails complete with graphic photos (of my apartment, of course), and sending him a check for the cost of labor and materials prior to our appointment this week. Yes, I was really taking my chances on all counts here. But surprisingly, perhaps, he showed up when he was supposed to and got to work, repainting my apartment's ceilings and working miracles (this is where the spray paint came in) on a bathroom sink nearly destroyed by drain cleaner. (Seriously, I thought it would have to be dynamited and rebuilt after the number I did on it, but, thankfully, there was an alternate solution.) 

Before (Kids, don't play with drain cleaner...)

After (I will never use drain cleaner again...)

Since that went relatively well, I think I might be ready for the short-term inconvenience and long-term benefit of selecting new flooring for my bathroom and kitchen and having it installed, but that's probably my limit. I don't expect to keep renovating, and if I move in the future I'll make sure it's into a home that doesn't need immediate improvements. 

But this process has not been without its lessons. I'm discovering that the home I live in can become, with a little time, effort, and financial investment, the home of my dreams.

Perspective

Pollyanna I'm not, but...

A potential issue with my car (it's headed to the shop this afternoon) and a washing machine in need of repair haven't made for a great start to this week. Unfortunately, the two issues cropped up simultaneously, making two individual molehills look more like one giant mountain to climb. (How I wish life would only mete out one crisis at a time!)

But I'd be inconsiderate (at best) if I didn't keep things in an accurate perspective. Those are merely inconveniences, not life-or-death problems. A local family that lived down the street from me lost its home (and likely everything in it) in an early-morning fire yesterday. Now that's a life-threatening, life-altering challenge! I'm sure they would much rather have my problematic, aging car and malfunctioning washing machine than their torched shell of a house and all its accompanying burdens. (As would I, of course.)

It's difficult for me to feel sorry for myself or stress out (and believe me, I'm quite skilled at both) over my paltry problems when I think about others who struggle more in one day than I will in a year. For example, I know people who suffer every day from chronic debilitating health issues and pain, which thankfully I don't have. I know people who are unemployed, struggling to provide for themselves and their families, while I'm employed (with a job I enjoy) with money in the bank.Some people live in violent homes or violent neighborhoods (sometimes both), while I live in a safe home in a safe village. I could go on and on, but you get the point.

It's all about perspective. I'm no Pollyanna. I have my struggles, but even in the midst of them I can't ignore my good fortune.