Freedom of Being

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been reading a lot of Tennessee Williams' wonderful work throughout this month. Last week, after reading several of his plays and short stories, I read his Memoirs to find out more about the man behind such classics as "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" and "A Streetcar Named Desire."

In the final chapter of Memoirs, I marked the following passage that resonated with this hobby writer and rings true for all who find joy, comfort, escape, and creative bliss in the craft of writing (blogging or otherwise):

"What is it like being a writer? I would say it is like being free...It means the freedom of being. And someone has wisely observed, if you can't be yourself, what's the point of being anything at all?"

Things I'm Loving Lately: Summer 2014 Edition

1. Paula's Choice

I don't usually, or ever, really, use my blog to shill products (in other words, I haven't figured out how to get free samples in exchange for online reviews), but I can't say enough about the Paula's Choice line of skin-balancing products, especially the cleanser, toner, and liquid exfoliant. Believe the hype! These bottled miracles have done more than anything else (and I feel like I've tried everything else) to fight my adult acne by cleaning off dirt and makeup, unclogging and minimizing crater-sized pores, and drying up excess oil. They're a bit pricy (for me) but well worth every cent.


2. Haim

"Days Are Gone" is without question the soundtrack to my summer. Just try listening to this album without at least one of the infectious tunes, reminiscent of Michael Jackson, Fleetwood Mac, '80s pop, and '90s girl-group R&B, pleasantly reverberating through your mind for days afterward...I can't.



3. Tennessee Williams

I'm currently working my way through Tennessee Williams' bibliography, everything from his best-known plays to his obscure ones, with plans to end my study by reading his Memoirs and at least one biography. (I'm nothing if not thorough, bordering on obsessive.) Most of his plays are set during summer, so this seems like an ideal time to read them with an obligatory ice-cold drink in the other hand. 


4. '90s Nostalgia

Nostalgia, as I've previously written (Nostalgia), is a powerful, often illogical force. Something that had little to no impact at the time can blow in like a hurricane-force wind 20 years later and seem like a life-altering masterpiece. For example, last week the National Geographic Channel premiered its extremely entertaining, informative dissection of '90s news, politics, and pop culture, "The '90s: The Last Great Decade?", which I binge-watched last Saturday. 

Let me just say that the '90s, when I lived through them in my tween and teen years, did not feel anything like a "great decade" (with the exception of amazing figure skating on every channel every weekend, perhaps). But reliving Bill Clinton's presidency, the OJ Simpson trial, and the Tonya/Nancy drama was the most fun I've had in ages. (I'll gently allow that I might need to get out just a wee bit more often...)

Ironically, "Blossom" reruns also premiered last week on the Hub channel. I watched the show during its original '90s run and don't recall it being one of my favorites. In fact, I don't think I'd thought of the show more than a few times during the past 20 years, aside from referencing it as Mayim Bialik's pre-"Big Bang Theory" TV start. However, since I started rewatching it last week, I'm undeniably hooked. How could I have forgotten (and lived without) this whimsical show for so long? Nostalgia, I tell you!


5.  Super Salads

Many people who know me are aware of my quirk of eating the same thing(s) for breakfast and lunch every day. Why do I do it? It's practical. It makes grocery shopping and food prep quicker and less painful, and it helps me stay on track with healthy eating by eliminating emotional eating. (I eat the same amount of the same food every day regardless of how I feel.)

Recently I switched up my lunch menu a bit after discovering the cutest portable salad container I've ever seen on sale at the grocery store. The cover has a fork holder on top, next to a tiny compartment to store single servings of salad dressing. Plus it's roomy and very easy to clean. I just fill it up with whatever is on sale in the produce aisle that week - spinach, lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots - and chunks of grilled chicken. By the time I get home and eat dinner, I've already had multiple servings of vegetables, so there's less to shove down at the end of the day. It's quick, easy, nutritious, and inexpensive...my kind of meal.

The Simple Life

"Summertime/And the living is easy..." ~ DuBose Heyward

I was struck by a thrilling but startling revelation near the end of a gloriously long, lazy Fourth of July weekend: my life as it is right now is probably as uncomplicated as it has ever been and will ever be. 

I'm single, child-free, independent, employed, financially and emotionally self-sufficient, debt-free, healthy, and moderately happy. I'm basically lounging poolside with an umbrella drink (non-alcoholic, of course). I have few worries, though I'll admit the few that I have can weigh heavily on my mind most of the time. My life doesn't always feel simple, but that's more about perception than reality. Truthfully, it is.

I know all too well the fragility of life. All it would take would be for just one (or more) of those factors listed above to change, disrupting that balance and turning my life helter-skelter. I think sometimes when circumstances are favorable, I find myself waiting, breath held, for everything to fall apart. It's like emotional Jenga, I guess, expecting that the slightest change or movement will cause the whole tower to crumble. Maybe in some ways I'm more comfortable when things go wrong because the anxious anticipation that it will dissipates and I no longer have anything valuable to lose (relationships, for example).

Unfortunately, that's part of life, but that unpredictability doesn't have to sway me unless I let it. I used to fervently believe when I was younger and far more naive than I am now that once I got through all the crummy stuff that life threw at me (bullies, puberty, depression, anxiety, devastating rejections and breakups), then I would reach an enlightened place of blissful happiness and remain there forever. I realize now, after continuing to experience all of those unpleasant things and many more as an adult, that life is cyclical, not a straight path up a mountain. Sometimes life is good, sometimes it's ugly, and sometimes it's both at the same time. One thing I know for sure is it will never be perfect. (Not on this side of earth, anyway.)

So, what can I do? I can stop fixating on what I feel is wrong with my life, which is usually something I can do little or nothing to change, and focus on what is right with it, which is nearly always the heavier side of the scale. Things can (and probably will) fall apart, but I don't have to fall apart with them. 

I will not dismiss or discount anything good that comes my way. And, for now, at least, I'll be out at the pool, soaking it all up.