The Women: Then and Now

I've had conflicted thoughts and feelings about the 1939 film The Women since watching it for the first time last weekend. 

While I'd love to say that the attitudes and roles of women depicted in it are dated, with the prevalence and (to me) inexplicable popularity of reality-TV programs like "Real Housewives" (of Atlanta, Beverly Hills, New Jersey, New York, Siberia, Timbuktu, etc.), "Basketball Wives," and "Hollywood Exes" crowding the airwaves, it seems the more things change, the more they don't. Whether it's 1939 or 2013, some women clearly believe that their power and identity are tied to their husbands' (or ex-husbands', in many cases) titles and salaries. The married socialite is alive and well and on full display in both the 1939 film and in these shows aired within the past five years. 

The Women, which was written by women, first as a play and then as a screenplay, takes an often-comic but occasionally poignant look at the ugly truth, including infidelity, abuse, disappointments, and boredom within the marriages of high-society wives without ever showing a man onscreen. But the women's lives are consumed by their relationships with men, including the unmarried shopgirl, played by Joan Crawford, who is romantically entangled with the husband of the main character, played by Norma Shearer.

The tagline tells the story of The Women.

The women are inevitably referred to as Mrs. (insert husband's name), just as the women in today's reality-TV shows are known more as (insert celebrity's name)'s wife or ex-wife than by their own names or accomplishments. It seems they would prefer the blissful ignorance of a facade that allows them to have money and prestige and their comfortable lives rather than risk shaking the status quo for an ultimately more rewarding, truthful existence and an unshakable personal identity.

To me, it's sad. Not pathetic, but sad. As women we have so many opportunities, personally and professionally, that those women in 1939 did not have or were only beginning to have.So why behave as if we don't? Why believe that you need marriage to an unfaithful or abusive but wealthy husband to be someone important? How about carving your identity based on who you are and on your strengths, talents, abilities, and hard work rather than someone else's?

And while we're on the subject of infidelity, far too often (again, doesn't matter if it's 1939 or 2013, the same apparently holds true) women are blamed when their husbands "wander." They blame themselves and they are blamed by others as if they did something wrong to cause the infidelity, crushing their self-esteem and wreaking havoc on their identities. (Prominent narrow-minded dolts like Pat Robertson of "700 Club" fame who publicly proclaim this to be so only reinforce this destructive belief. <http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/pat-robertson-cheating-comments-males-tendency-wander-19200017>)*

How about putting the blame squarely where it belongs on the wanderers themselves rather than excusing selfish marriage-destroying behavior?

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*Sincere apologies for the preceding Viagra ad, which, considering the video's content, is in bad taste yet amusingly complementary.