Vacation (All I Ever Wanted)

June is traditionally my annual work-vacation/traveling month, so I've been on break from a lot of things for the past few weeks, including this blog. But the upside of that break is I have travel stories to share. (I'm always on the hunt for blogging material even if that requires throwing myself out of an airplane with a parachute.)

Two weeks ago I embarked on my yearly trip to Florida to see my sister, brother-in-law, and eight-year-old nephew. Remember when I wrote that watching my nephew gleefully dive into the pool inspired me to start swimming lessons a year ago? ("Diving In") Well, I endured five brutal months of swimming lessons, overcame considerable water phobia, and anxiously awaited my next shot at enjoying my sister's pool. Unfortunately, I was greeted shortly upon arrival by rain and thunderstorms, which clouded at least part of each day of my stay. So pool and hot tub time was limited, and most of our activities - movies, bowling, laser tag, and mini-golf - happened indoors.

The highlight of this year's trip, aside from the quality family time, was SeaWorld. (I haven't seen any of the animal-mistreatment documentaries, so I was able to fully enjoy my visit without being burdened by that information. Ignorance, as they say, can be bliss.) I bravely conquered both of the big roller coasters, Manta (which scarily flips down the seats so riders face the ground during the entire ride...I had to find a happy place and retreat there for the length of the ride) and Kraken (which was big and bad but no big deal after the terrifying Manta), before the aforementioned rain and thunderstorms temporarily shut them down. 

After tackling those monsters, I readily downgraded to the kiddie rides with my nephew to close out the day. Although Shamu was nowhere to be seen, and we missed his performance, I did see flamingos, manatees, a walrus, a polar bear, dolphins, and some pretty remarkable rescued cats, dogs, birds, a pig, and even a skunk who performed tricks (mostly on cue) in the extremely entertaining "Pets Ahoy" show.

It's always painful to leave Florida and return to regular everyday life (like awakening from a wonderful dream to harsh reality), but knowing that I had a full summer to relax and enjoy occasional adventures made coming home much easier. 

One of those adventures was a day trip to the Finger Lakes yesterday, with the Merry-Go-Round Playhouse in Auburn, N.Y., as my primary destination. The event: "Mary Poppins"! I'm fairly certain I was more excited to see the show than any of the little girls in attendance. To my delight, it was as magical as the lady herself. I can't recall ever seeing a more first-rate combination of costumes, sets, acting, choreography, and music than I saw in this performance, which was truly a taste of Broadway in a small-town theater.

Skaneateles Lake

My trip also included stops in Skaneateles, for lunch at the Sherwood Inn and a beautiful view of the lake, and Seneca Falls (Sauders Mennonite grocery store; no time for the historical sites). Once again, my old nemesis, rain-and-thunderstorms, prevented anything beyond a quick glimpse of the lake and a few photos of the area, but there are several gift shops and boutiques along the main street district that all have exceptional window views that will accommodate on rainy days.

 

Skaneateles

After the stop in Seneca Falls, I was ready to return home. I always love going away for awhile to see new places, try new things, and run away from my regular life for a day or so, but as Dorothy Gale learned, there's nothing better after a successful journey, especially if you're a homebody with an occasional travel itch, than going home.

I'm Not a Freak...I'm an Introvert!

 "Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality. Some people act like extroverts, but the effort costs them in energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof and self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama. So the next time you see a person with a composed face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet." ~ Susan Cain

As a lifelong word nerd, I've read a lot of books, ranging from classic fiction to Hollywood memoirs and dabbling in just about everything in between. Some, obviously, have been more memorable and worthwhile than others. Few, if any, though, have been as profound and potentially life-changing for me as Susan Cain's 2012 bestseller Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.

Quiet should be required reading for all introverts (to understand yourself) and extroverts (to understand your introverted friends, family members, partner(s), and coworkers) because, let's face it, you're either primarily one or the other (although many introverts sadly but sometimes necessarily try to hide their introversion beneath an extroverted facade, as Cain discusses), and understanding and getting along with someone who behaves differently from you can be very challenging.

Cain includes fascinating anecdotes about famous introverts, such as Rosa Parks, Dale Carnegie, Steve Wozniak, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Warren Buffett, to prove one of her book's main points that introverts can use their innate abilities and traits (their "quiet strength") to be successful in business and in life without mimicking extroverts and compromising who they are. In fact, the patience, sensitivity, steadfast determination, and tendency to think before speaking and acting that's characteristic of them can make introverts more successful than extroverts in negotiations, stock-market investments, and leadership roles, as just a few of Cain's powerful anecdotes suggest.

Unfortunately, too many introverts have not gotten the message that they're fine and actually perfectly normal (approximately one-third to one-half of the population is introverted, according to Cain's research) exactly as they are. Instead they grow up feeling that there's something wrong with them because they don't enjoy group work (which has become increasingly widespread in American schools from elementary grades to college and in work places), parties, and the social prestige of their extroverted peers. Sadly, some parents, teachers, and classmates reinforce the negative perception of introversion by trying to force the introvert out of his or her "shell," supposedly for his or her own benefit. (Cain wisely devotes the book's final chapter to advice for parents who are raising introverts.)

For me, I wish this book, which Cain wrote to offer "a newfound sense of entitlement to be yourself" existed 20 years ago, and that I had read it then. As a shy, hardcore introvert (I'm definitely both, although the two traits don't always coexist), growing up in a seemingly extrovert-dominated world, school was brutal. I can't tell you how many times I've been labeled a "freak," "antisocial," "too quiet," "unfriendly," "stuck-up," and, of course, my favorite, a turtle who needs to come out of my shell. I've been told, throughout my life, as a child and adult, that I need to talk more, go out more, socialize more, and expand my horizons. The message I received at an early age was that being shy and quiet was not okay and who I was wasn't good enough.

That's why I'm so appreciative of Cain's book, and for the growing acceptance of introversion as a personality trait (either inborn or learned, the jury's hung) rather than a character defect. Cain provides permission to let your inner introvert come out to play:

"Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to."

I'm learning to accept and like who I am, no apologies required, although I, like probably all introverts, occasionally need to stretch beyond my introverted confines to be successful at work and improve interpersonal relationships. That's okay, Cain points out, because my peaceful sanctuary and its books will be there waiting for me when it's time to retreat to my comfortable introverted oasis.