How would my life have been different if I'd been born fifty years earlier than I was?
I've been pondering that question since watching a PBS documentary, "Makers: Women Who Make America," that held me spellbound for three solid hours. (I've been watching a lot of PBS lately, a direct consequence of my infatuation with "Downton Abbey.") The potential answer to this hypothetical question is scary to me.
As recently as the 1960s, I learned from the documentary, women were denied apartment rentals and credit cards unless their husbands (if they were married) signed for them. And even Oprah Winfrey (Queen Oprah!), of all people, was denied a salary equal to her male co-star's ($22,000 vs. $50,000) when she started out on a Chicago-area TV news program back in the 1980s (when I was born). Her boss's explanation for the inequality, according to an interview with her, was she didn't have a family to support or a mortgage to pay, as her male co-worker did. Really?!
So what opportunities would have been available for me if I had been part of the workforce then as a young, single woman trying to earn a living? (Or would I have had to marry immediately after high school or college and have children, as many women (even the college graduates) born during the 1930s and 1940s explained was their expected life path?) Would I have had the opportunity to earn a college degree? Would I have had the freedom to rent my own apartment (or buy my own house) and financially support myself?
I can't imagine not having that freedom, which is so integral to my daily life. The freedom to make my own choices and live independently means everything to me. Every woman deserves the opportunity to chart her own course. How else can we build self-confidence and self-esteem? How can any woman happily and healthily exist without that power?
All of these thoughts and questions have been rattling through my mind since I saw the documentary. So what answer(s), if any, have I determined?
If I had been born in the 1930s, I suppose my life would have been very similar to my grandmother's life. She was a hard-working wife of a dairy farmer and mother of two children who married a 30-year-old man when she was 18 and spent her life taking care of him, their children, and assisting with the farm. My mom, who is 30 years older than I am, followed a similar pattern (minus the dairy farm), marrying at 21 and raising three children as a stay-at-home wife and mom at a time when most of my classmates' moms were in the workforce. (In fact, I remember finding out by a show of hands in an elementary-school classroom that I had the only stay-at-home mom of anyone in my class at that time.)
Honestly, I can't imagine having my grandmother's life or my mom's life, for that matter. (To my great sorrow, I'm relationally challenged, so there's little to no chance that I ever will.) I have no desire to spend my days cooking, cleaning, and raising children, although I believe there is no tougher or more admirable work if it's done well. My point is that I'm thankful I have options that weren't always available to women born earlier than I was.
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| The trailblazing Gloria Steinem in 1972 (photo courtesy of PBS). |
I didn't realize until seeing "Makers" how much I owe to women like Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, and so many other pioneers before and after them, who've courageously fought for the opportunities that I've taken for granted as my birthright. I wouldn't have the emotional, physical, and financial independence and freedom that I have if not for their work. I wouldn't have the power to choose my work (and to some extent my salary) if not for them.
I'm beyond thankful for the power to choose.
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