Liberation

I've finally taken the proverbial plunge and started my own blog. After standing on the edge of the cliff (seemingly forever), I finally jumped, trusting that my bungee cord would do its job and I'd survive. I didn't expect to feel so excited, but I feel like a kid in a candy store with money in my pocket. There are so many options for expressing myself and exploring my creativity. 

I feel more liberated than frightened. I have my own Internet place (the creative equivalent of having my own apartment). I can post what I want, when I want, and design it as I wish. I can write a lot or a little and choose who reads it. I can bring attention to it or not bring attention to it. For now, I like the feeling of having my own special secret place. 

Will I tell anyone or keep it to myself for awhile? I'm not sure. I guess promoting it is my next hurdle. It's one thing to start a blog knowing that no one will read it if no one knows it's there. But someday someone will read it, whether I draw attention to it or not. 

I can't hide in anonymity forever. I've done that for the past however many years without any discernible benefit. Sure, it's safe...safer than exposing myself, but it's imprisoning. I have a voice that I need to express. The first step was finding it. The next step is learning how to use it.

So maybe this blog won't bring me fame, fortune, fans, a book deal, a best seller, and a Pulitzer Prize. That shouldn't be my intention. The most important thing is to rediscover my love of writing and, through that, rediscover myself. 

I don't want to leave this earth not knowing who I am and wondering what I might have been able to accomplish.

 I don't want to regret not taking a risk. 

It might not pay off with the desired reward, but there's a better chance that it will if I try than if I refuse to do anything, risking neither failure or success.