Boundaries

Hypothetical situation (okay, not really, but let's go with it...): You're a private person who orders an item online and comes home a week later to find the boxed item propped against your apartment door. A few days later, someone in your life mentions the package and inquires as to what was inside the aforementioned shipment. 

Being a private person (who also respects the privacy of those around you), you politely decline to answer. The other person is upset with you, visibly miffed by your decision not to respond. You feel bad, but you also feel irritated. First of all, how did this person (who does not live with you) not only know that you had a package on your doorstep but also know the name of the company that shipped it?

You feel stalked. 

You feel annoyed at having your cherished privacy threatened. 

You feel like it's no one else's damn business what you order with your own money and receive on your own doorstep. 

But...you also feel bad for apparently hurting this person's feelings by not violating your own privacy. 

Are you a horrible person? Are you selfish for setting boundaries and refusing to eradicate them? I don't think so. 

Setting boundaries becomes easier, a more natural response, over time. But the flak provoked by setting those boundaries is difficult to receive. It makes the hypothetical person (aka me) feel even more isolated from others.

 Sure, I need to set boundaries to protect my emotional well-being. But, let's face it, the short-term consequences (the hurt feelings of affronted individuals you love) really suck.