End-of-Tunnel Light

"Is there a chance? / A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?" 

~ A Fine Frenzy, "Ashes and Wine"

A few months ago, I wrote about my struggle to endure what has felt like the longest, coldest upstate New York winter of my life (and I've survived a lot of them). The truth is a lot of things have been challenging during the past few months (heck, during the past 12 months). But there have been hints of spring weather on the horizon. Not consistently, of course. Western New York's only weather consistency is its lack of consistency, so the temperatures (typically for this time of year in this region) have been up and down like a yo-yo, but there's spring (and possibly summer) at the end of this long, dark, cold, snowy, miserable winter tunnel. I believe it (believing, in this case, what I can't always see)!

 

The other winter-long struggle that has consumed my thoughts and threatened my physical and emotional well-being has been a cancer scare that cropped up when a routine exam, to my utter shock, revealed abnormal precancerous cells. You know that tired cliche that afflicted people usually catch themselves saying...'I didn't think it could happen to me?' Well, I didn't think it could (or would) happen to young, healthy, health-conscious me. 

(And is there anything worse than receiving a call from your doctor's office informing you that something is wrong and, subsequently, sitting in front of your doctor as she opens your file and delivers your (life or death) sentence, making you feel as if she holds your life and its future (or lack thereof) in her hands?)

Three months of fear and uncertainty culminated a couple weeks ago in two biopsies and outpatient surgery to remove the abnormal tissue. Yesterday came the call from my doctor that I had anxiously awaited. Thankfully, the news was good: I'm cancer-free, and I'll have a follow-up exam with my doctor in six months to ensure that I remain so. 

 I didn't fully realize the depth of my fear, or how long I had been holding my breath, until I received that all-clear call. I feel tremendous relief and thankfulness, as well as a renewed commitment to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I know I can't control everything. After all, even some of the fittest, healthiest world-class athletes (Lance Armstrong, Scott Hamilton, and Shannon Miller, for example) have been diagnosed with various forms of cancer. But I truly believe that the best chance of prevention (or survival, if diagnosed) comes in the form of a healthy diet and regular exercise. And I will live (gratefully!) accordingly.