True Love

"Still don't know what love means..." ~ Ray LaMontagne, "Jolene"

"Maybe I've never really loved..." ~ Joni Mitchell, "Amelia"

 

I've spent some time lately thinking about love-true love-and realizing that the idea of unselfish love (my definition of true love) has been mostly foreign to me throughout my life. I've asked myself, 'Have I ever expressed unselfish love or been given it at any time?' And what is the real meaning of love-what is it really?-in its truest, purest form?

One source with a well-known description is 1 Corinthians 13, starting in verse four (NIV):

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

How many times have I read this passage or heard it read during the past 10 years without questioning whether I've given or received this kind of love? Have I experienced patient, kind love that is free of envy, boasting, pride, rudeness, selfishness, and anger and full of forgiveness, goodness, purity, protection, trust, hope, and perseverance? I'd say only rarely; mostly it has been selfish. It's been based on feelings, fleeting emotions that are circumstantial, rather than steady, unwavering choices of commitment and devotion that I could trust. 

I'm not sure if I've ever truly loved someone unselfishly, if I've ever wanted what was best for someone more than I've wanted my own personal happiness, desires, convenience, or agenda to be met, though I know I thought I did at the time. Would I be willing to sacrifice what I wanted for what's best for someone I loved if the two were in opposition? 

 I want to be. I want to become a person (if I'm not now) who will love truly and unselfishly.